Category: Writers Block
My dog, Cody, has been acting very strange. I would call him and he
souldn't come to me. He would not eat for days. He just wanted to sleep,
and did not want to go for walks. I figured he just needed a frriend. I
went online to look at dogs. I found a breeder who breeds Siberian
huskeys. I asked her if I coulde come and look at one.
"Sure," she said, "when can you come?"
"I'm available on Monday and Wednesday afternoons and evenings.
Morning is good too on those days, but I do schoolwork in the mornings, so
preferable afternoon or evening," I told the breeder.
"No problem, can you come this Wednesday at 5:30?"
"Sure, I will be taking Uber, will that be a problem when taking the dog
home?"
"I don't know what Uber is."
"It is a taxi cab company. You reserve rides from an app on your
smartphone and the money automatically gets diducted from your credit
card," I explained to the breeder.
"I thought that was lyft," she said.
"They are the same thing."
"Ok that's fine as long as the drivers are okay with animals in the car."
"I'll ask before I go. I'll call the driver and ask if he will allow it."
"That sounds good. I'll see you Wednesday."
On Wednesday I went to see the breeder. I wasn't sure which dog I would
take as there were 5 of them. She let one dog out of the cages, one at a
time so we could see how they interact with me. One dog was afraid of
me. She bit my cane and ran to the other side of the room. The second
dog went right up to me. He jumped in my lap, and that was it. He fell
asleep in my lap for an hour. I let him sleep there while I talked to the
breeder and waited for Uber. The driver was okay with a dog in his car. I
just told him I have a guide dog.
"What's your dog's name?" the Uber driver asked
"Fluffy," I said.
"That's a nice name," he approved.
When I got home, I put Fluffy in his crate so the dogs could get used to
each other. Cody didn't know what to think of the new dog. I let them
sniff each other and get used to each other. Fluffy was taking a nap in his
crate and while he was sleeping, I went on amazon and I ordered toys, a
bed, food, treats, a collar, a harness, a leash, and bones. The breeder did
give me some food, but I do need to order more.
A week later, the doorbell rang. Both dogs were barking as they were
getting murdered. I thought it was UPS with my package, but it wasn't. It
was the Uber driver that I had last week.
"Do you know that your dog chewed a hole in the seat of my car?" he
asked.
"No he wasn't chewing anything; I would have stopped him if he was."
"Well you didn't stop him. There is a big hole in my seat, and I want you to
come out here and I'll show it to you if you don't believe me."
I put the dogs away and went outside with him.
"Here is the hole!" he yelled as he grabbed my arm and put my hand on it.
"I want you to give me the money to fix that."
"I'm sorry but I don't have it," I said.
"Steal someone's credit card if you have to damn it!" he yelled.
"I don't steal. First of all, I didn't put that hole in your seat."
"Your dog did, you dog can't pay for it, so you have to! You should have
told him no!"
"He wasn't chewing the seat you idiot."
I just walked away, went inside and locked the door. I am very happy that
the dogs are getting along.
lol Ok, good one.
So many words, no little interest...
Just last night, while checking the mail, the cutest lil poodle came bounding up to me. "Hi," He said. "My name is Cody."
I was shocked. A talking dog?
"Yes, " he said, as if he'd read my mind. "I'm so tired and was wondering if you'd let me stay in your apartment for a little while, just long enough that I can finally sleep. I was having trouble sleeping at home, and that was before this utter nutter woman went out and got another dog. She named it Foamy, or fluffy... something like that. But it barks and it growls and that silly woman just coos to it all day long and I just couldn't take it anymore."
"Don't you know that she'll come and find you," I asked?
"Oh," he said. "I'm not worried about that. She won't believe you anyway."
I had to amit that he did have a point. Then I got to thinking. "wait. This is a made up dog, and a made up story..."
They're really nice, here in the psych ward. They brought me a bowl of oatmeal this morning. Not sure how cody's doing. I gave him the key to my apartment just as they were taking me away. I hope he remembers to pay the rent.
Just last night I was kicking back sipping on a good scotch I’d just bought from the store.
Someone knocked, so I went to open it.
“Hi, she said, I saw you in the store just now, so I followed you home Can I come in?”
Sure, I said and stepped back.
I made sure no one was following her and closed the door.
She asked, “are you going to offer me a drink?” I said, sure, and made her one.
We set down on the love seat and she began to tell me about herself, her name and about her dog Cody, and such things.
Before I knew it, she had gone in to the kitchen and cooked me a steak she’d had in her purse, and made salad I had here.
We had a good dinner and she’s still here now watching me write this. *sigh.
The things that can happen to a man.
There is so much I could say about this, especially when it comes to passing off a fake service animal. I sincerely hope and pray that this is either fiction or delusion; I really don't care wich so long as I can sleep at night knowing you are not responsible for the care of a defenceless animal. God save us all.
There are others here who are far more qualified to give you the verbal lashing you so ritchly deserve, but will never comprehend, so I will now relinquish the keyboard, sit back and enjoy the shitshow this thread is bound to become. Come on Zoners, don't disappoint me. It's been a hell of a week and I need the cheep entertainment. I'm leaving the house in a while but expect to come back tonight to a thread full of yall's ever so amusing tirades against this farce of a writer and a few good shots of Crowne.
I don't know if it's real, so I don't know what to say. If you think it's all right to pass of a dog as a guide dog, I have no respect for you. People that do that, make me sick. I'll deny a pet is a guide, even if it annoys friends. Too bad. I thought you had at least 1 good thing going for you. But, even this fiction tells me I overestimated you.
Some people only learn, when they are hurt, or insulted. I doubt that would phase even you.
Blessings,
Sarah
This stuff isn't real...
> Both dogs were barking as they were getting murdered.
If they ever existed they don't anymore.
Real? Did you all not read Anthony and my stories?
Come on, lets see some of your "creativity"
In the other topic, she told us that Cody is a totally made up dog, so... It's just a story. Fluffy is a lemon chifonne pie, if that will make anyone feel any better.
I don't like lemon chiffon pie... I prefer chocolate chess pie.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/12415/chocolate-chess-pie-i/
My dog, Cody and I were in the backyard and I noticed him gazing longingly at a stuffed animal of lady from lady and the tramp. That's when I decided to buy him a wife. I took a dog catalog out of the mailbox. The most lovely great dane named fluzy, or was it fluffy? leaped from the pages into the palm of my hand and I instantly fell in love with her. Suddenly my cellphone rang.
I said, "Hello?"
A man's voice said, "You are under arrest for posession of an unauthorized animal from the dog catalog."
I said, "it jumped out at me."
The man said, "you did not get permission from Don poochini, the dogfather, therefore, you will be held responsible for the damages."
I said, "what did you say?" because Codey and froofy were roling around making mating noises and I found the man hard to hear, I dug a hole with my broken toothpic and buried them 20,000 leagues under the earth.
The man shouted, "This is your final warning before the animal is removed!"
I said, "if you didn't want me to have the dog you shouldn't have sent me the catalog."
Then I hung up on him and went inside and made some chocolate covered chocolate flavored pieces of chocolate filled chocolate for my dogs.
coconut cream!
There once was a man from Nantucket.
In all honestly, I liked the story apple. Now that you've made me understand that anything you post here is fiction. Anyway where's Leo? I want to read his his version of what I'm coining, extraordinary short tall tale!
lol Yeah, the murdered part was um? Interesting, and I'll be back soon with my story.
OMG I completely, completely missed that...wtf, apple! they barked as they murdered each other? Maybe it was a typo.
You guys gave me good ideas for another story hahaha! No, dogs usually go
nuts when the doorbell rings, so if you heard the barking, you would think
they were getting murdered.
They were murdered by Apple, and she ended up one of those ladies that kill, on Forensic Files.
They found gun powder on her hands, and knew she'd used a watergun, with baby powder. I need to be alert, when writing. But, how am I getting gun and baby powder mixed up? That's kind of funny. Hahaha!
Maybe you mistaked baby powder for gun powder.
Some of you all really do know how to write / append to a story as you all have, the original poster notwithstanding. Thanks for the laughs / entertainment, people.
right? No offense, but who names a dog cody? fluffy is the name of a kitty
imo. Right, sarah? :d anyways, poor doggies! :d you murdered them! *cries*
A brown dog came running to me. I stared at it and he stared at me. "hey
you, are you lost?" I asked picking up the puppy. It whimpered when I neared
the lady's house. It was more afraid of the lady then at the house. :(
very entertaining story, thanks for some amusement on a Monday Apple. I needed that.
Yes. Fluffy is really a cat, even though she looks like a dog. She's just a huge house-cat. Fluffy barks like dogs do, so that's why Apple thought she was a dog.
"Can cats bark? she asked.
"Well," I said. "They can sound like they're barking. It's just how some kitties like to meow."
I went home.
I thought fluffy wuffy was a bear.
Fluffy Wuffy
Was a bear
Fluffy Wuffy
Had no hair
Fluffy Wuffy
Wasn't fluffy, was he?
Was he bare?
Or was that Fuzzy Wuzzy?
Maybe. hahaha.
lol insanity...
lol love the previous poster's post status. love me alien lemonade
lol it's a quote from a video game :P
And a video game I expect most people around here have never even heard of.:)
it's called Kid Icarus: Uprising. there are a lot of weird quotes in that game.
I know.:) Far stretch from its original back in the 80s NES days, though even that one had its odd quirks ... like being turned into a walking eggplant.
lol
Fluffy is a good name for a cat or dog.
It's too cliche.
I heard that thing about Fuzzy Wuzzy, all my childhood. It sure wuz... Urm, was Fuzzy Wuzzy. LOL I love it!
Blessings,
Sarah
I just thought about Harry Potter. hahaha!
I walked outside last night, on a starry and cold night. The stars shone like
bright pin pricks. The snow shined brightly under these little dots of lights.
'Why am I out here?' I thought grasping tightly with my numbing large hands
on the metal rail that was so cold and metallic.
'ah, yes. I needed to fetch the paper that the news boy inevitably threw in to
my yard fair or foul weather.'
I strode down slowly on the slippery steps which was slick and shiny with iced
over snow. It was thinly laid down by God's beautiful hands.
I walked forward slowly. There it was the issue rapped in thin plastic. I stooped
down to pick up the bundle that I noticed was flat and not so full today. Then I
heard a faint noise, a rustle. I wasn't sure what it was. Tonight was windless.
The quiet cold just lay thick atop me. I had on clothes for the occasion,
complete with gloves that was thick and glowed orange. Ah, how I loved
orange. The noise became louder, there was plodding footsteps. I looked at the
figure that was approaching. It was a Dog on four legs.
"What! a Dog out tonight, out of all nights? I also don't recognize this dog," I
observed aloud to the silent night which blanketed the world and the two
creatures that seem to be outside tonight. My voice sounded, and then
dissipated. I stooped over to pick up the Des Moine Daily.
"Why can't be a Dog be out tonight? I love the snow of all things! Is it not a
beautiful wet and wonderful creation? It is so mysterious in it's form. Wet and
yet half solid. It's a fine night, Sir, and I am glad you're out of your quarters as
well to observe it," A low gruff almost growling voice sounded. I jumped and
nearly fell in the fridgid not so wonderful snow, backwards. I looked up. There
wasn't anyone. Was this my own insecure delusions? Was it a silver ghost I
missed somehow? Who or what was speaking? I shook myself. no not what!
objects couldn't speak. Did I myself say these words. My face was in some sort
of weird contortion from shock.
"You look very shocked, sir. Did I frighten you? My apologies. I am Chase," the
Dog's mouth was moving, his gaze was fixed on me. His body full of his
glistening fur moved slightly. He inched towards my gates. Newspaper
forgotten, I ran in to the house in sheer panic. I nearly slipped a number of
times. I made it in to the house and slammed the door shut.
What in the world!!!! What in the world! Maybe I was imagining things. NO,
Dogs can definitely not talk. no Sir! No Sir, they can not! I begin striding over to
my couch. Maybe I am tired, it is indeed somewhat late. I'll rest my head for a
moment. A loud knocking shattered my thoughts. I am not expecting anyone,
who's knocking now? The bang and scratch continued. It was a odd sort of
knocking. I walked over slowly and looked out from the peek whole on my bid
mahogany door. It was the Dog. Chase stood on his hind legs and had his
forelegs lifted ready to knock again. What a strange animal.
"May I come in, Sir? I am sorry I frightened you," The dog growled upon the
door opening. I grudgingly granted his request.
This is the story as to how I had gotten my talking Dog Chase. One night on a
cold Snowy brightly starlit night. He had brought me the Desmoine Daily, and
gave it to me while he stepped inside my house.